I bought the DVF two years ago on my birthday - a gift to myself, if you will. It was without a doubt the wisest gift I have ever given anyone. Until today, when I joined the bone marrow registry.
I knew that joining the registry would be simple - five minutes of paperwork and a quick cheek swab. But I was expecting the process would involve kindly nurses and private cubicles. Instead, I walked in to find that the bone marrow registry drive was being run by the Harvard University football team. Not a medical professional in sight.
I was so flummoxed at the sight of all these young men, that instead of saying that I was "here to become a bone marrow donor," I announced that I was here to "become a boner." I said to a room full of 20-year-old men that I was there to become a boner. We all had a good laugh. Then one of them called me "ma'am." The DVF is amazing, but it cannot make you fifteen years younger.
I still managed to go through with it - including the even more embarrassing task of asking one of the young men to take a photo of me swabbing my own mouth:
I can't believe he didn't just say "ah, get outta here ya old cougar." He was a good sport. I hope he calls me.